Vanilla Coconut by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: pineapple, coconut, fig leaf, red ginger, Tahitian vanilla

After sampling the offerings by Canadian perfumer Susanne Lang, it has become very clear that she represents the worst about niche perfumery – amateurish, synthetic and pubescent olfactory statements, steeped deep in manipulative marketing drivel. Sadly, Vanilla Coconut does nothing to alleviate such a stern conclusion.

Youthful and playful this tropical vanilla effort most certainly is, yet it's also devoid of any class, complexity and substance. The majority of the components are clearly on display but there's no discernible quality in the notes employed. Furthermore, its sweetness isn't too overbearing but its saccharine nuances most certainly are.

Overall, it's a predictable composition, cheaply made but with a higher price tag than it naturally [pun intended] deserves. Even though Midnight Orchid is a marginal improvement, the fact remains that this is a budget-priced fragrance house masquerading as something that it's not.

The emperor's new clothes indeed...

Lotus Blossom by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: peach blossom, ginger lily, pink lotus, yellow freesia, Tahitian gardenia

Lotus Blossom is a tropical floral that's unashamedly artificial and reeks much to one's annoyance, comprising of accords that are unpleasantly harsh. It's also the worst Susanne Lang fragrance one has encountered so far, smelling like an inexpensive shampoo or bubble bath product.

Midnight Orchid by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: freesia, Egyptian jasmine, white gardenia, vanilla, musk

Midnight Orchid is a humdrum vanilla offering, with the floral aspects greatly toned down. Instead, one picks up noticeable traces of caramel, enabling the composition to smell very similar to vanilla beans. Unfortunately, it's also very mild on the skin, doesn't last as long as one would expect and is somewhat synthetic.

Based on what one has smelt so far from this house, one is starting to wonder if these creations were originally intended to be The Body Shop knock-offs in fancier packaging.

Cashmere by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: saffron, Indian spices, frankincense, amber, woods

All the typical feminine elements are in place for Cashmere's oriental demeanour: the creamy warmth of vanilla, exotic coconut overtures, subtle spices, powdery florals, an abundantly graceful sweetness, and the anchoring of amber and woods (although there isn't much evidence of any frankincense).

Successfully living up to its name, it's a delicate and comforting creation, which gets off to a rocky start with its cheap-smelling and astringent saffron opening. Coming across as linear, it's very easy to wear but one gets the distinct impression that boredom could soon set in after a few wearings.

Closely hugging the skin, and lasting for around three to four hours, it exudes a sexy (but not raunchy) musky aura that lacks a certain feline sophistication.

With that said, it's probably best worn around the house or at the office.

Red Ginger by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: bergamot, aniseed, red ginger, nutmeg, rose otto, carnation, amber, patchouli

Excluding any colour associations, Red Ginger is anything but...

With a shrieking cascade of bergamot and aniseed, it's a generic and cheap-smelling fruity-floral. Any evidence of ginger is almost negligible but some rose is just about discernible within this train wreck of a composition. In addition, its attempt to exude an exotic flair fails to convince, for what is essentially designer-esque dreck.

Save your money and purchase something similar from The Body Shop instead.

Tamboti by Susanne Lang

*****

Year: 2003

Notes: tamboti, vetiver, cedar, sandalwood

Tamboti (a Southern African wood, also called African sandalwood but sweeter than ordinary sandalwood) is an extremely demure woody fragrance that initially smells fresh and clean, before becoming drier and woodier as it evolves. But it's nothing more than a trite cedar and sandalwood concoction, with a translucent demeanour and average staying power.

It's the perfect example of an inoffensive olfactory outing, without literally coming across as laundry clean.